Are celebrations appropriate in times of war?
Should we celebrate during the war or not? For the second year in a row, Ukrainians have been hesitating whether it is the right time to celebrate and whether we have the right to be happy during the war. People feel guilty for gathering around the festive table. Is it a guilt to give yourself joy during the war? Psychotherapist Ksenia Chubova shared her advice about celebrating holidays during the war.
Is it worth celebrating when the country is at war?
It is necessary to celebrate because we live in a country where our internal system is already suffering greatly. We lack the holiday itself. We are very emotionally low, unstable, and the holiday begins to give us internal resources, strength, and energy. How do you decide whether to celebrate? You can determine this by using the method of internal recovery. You can take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. On one half, you can write down all your advantages, and on the other half, your disadvantages. This way, you will be able to understand whether you really need or want to celebrate with your inner state, or whether this year you want to be alone or in a very small company and drink just a cup of coffee. And this will also be a small celebration.
Celebrating for the sake of the child. How to get rid of guilt and stop beating yourself up?
In order not to beat yourself up, you need to write down the pros and cons of whether you are ready to celebrate. After that, you will understand for yourself whether you want to celebrate. If you are ready but still feel guilty, you can donate money. This way you will make a holiday not only for yourself, but you can also help the Armed Forces. Or help other children who also need a holiday now.
How to celebrate? As usual or in a modest way?
The holiday should be what you want it to be. Of course, it should be within the law and within your means. It’s better to do it without fireworks, without loud music, but you can have whatever you want on the table. This is a recommendation from me. If you want to set a very big table, for 5-10 thousand hryvnias, don’t hesitate to donate the same amount to the Armed Forces. This way, the holiday will definitely be very good, and not only for you.
Is it necessary to create a festive menu with simpler dishes?
You can make a small holiday for yourself with what you have or what you would like to have. A holiday is not necessarily about a table that is bursting with delicacies. A holiday is a company where you feel comfortable with a glass of wine or a cup of tea and a small piece of cake. The main thing is that you feel this holiday inside, that you feel these lights inside. And that you feel warm and cosy.
How to choose between a child’s joy from a Christmas tree garland and saving electricity?
The Christmas tree should be decorated, because it is our tradition, it is what brings us closer together, brings us closer to our children in the first place, adds festivity and happy moments. These are our traditions. Why do our defenders protect us if we neglect the moments we have now? The enemy will rejoice because of this. I suppose the Christmas tree can be decorated with garlands that run on batteries or power banks.
Spend money on gifts or help for the Ukrainian Armed Forces?
If these are adults, they can choose for themselves whether they want to give gifts or whether they would rather donate the money to the Armed Forces. You need to feel it internally, what you want more. But I would recommend donating more.
How to explain to a child why there are no celebrations and gifts in the family?
If it’s a very young child, it’s very difficult to explain to them why they will be left without holidays or a present this year. Our children should have a childhood. I would recommend at least a small holiday for young children. And with older children, you can sit down and talk. Ask them what they want. Maybe they want to send a gift to another child who needs it more. Or maybe the child still wants to receive a gift. This should be an agreement with the child. This way you will maintain both balance in the family and balance with the child. The child will feel more secure and loved.
Power outages during the holidays: how to organise everything so that the darkness doesn’t cause sadness?
You can buy interesting lanterns, battery-powered garlands or decorate the whole house with festive scented candles. This will create a very warm, homely and cosy space, which will be even more comfortable than with lights, TV and loud music. And thus the holidays will definitely be very bright.
You can play board games with your children, spend more time with them, and tell them funny stories. This way, our holidays will be the most wonderful and no one will be able to spoil them.