{"id":5721,"date":"2025-05-20T08:15:28","date_gmt":"2025-05-20T06:15:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dovidka.info\/?post_type=informations&p=5721"},"modified":"2026-04-02T16:35:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-02T14:35:56","slug":"recruitment-how-to-understand-that-you-are-in-danger-how-to-protect-your-child","status":"publish","type":"informations","link":"https:\/\/dovidka.info\/en\/recruitment-how-to-understand-that-you-are-in-danger-how-to-protect-your-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Recruitment: How to understand that you are in danger? How to protect your child?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\n How to Talk to a Child About the Danger of Recruitment: Advice for Parents and Teachers <\/h2>\n <\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n
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It is important for adults to know how to discuss difficult topics with children calmly \u2014 without intimidation, but with a clear understanding of the risks. The online recruitment of teenagers is a real threat, and the main tools of protection are trust, knowledge, and open dialogue. In this article, psychologist, Gestalt therapist, and savED expert <\/span>Iryna Pleshakova<\/b> explains how to have this conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you talk to a child about the danger of recruitment without scaring them?<\/b><\/p>\n

It is best to begin not with fear, but with trust. A child listens to an adult when they feel safe, not when they are being frightened. Remember: fear either paralyzes or drives a child toward defiance. Our goal is proactivity, critical thinking, and inner readiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Start with context. For example:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cYou know that many of us now \u2013 even children \u2013 are facing different forms of war not only on the front line, but also online. I want to explain how this happens so that you are aware and know how to protect yourself.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Your position should be one of partnership. Not \u201cI know and you don\u2019t,\u201d but \u201cI am here with you, and we will figure this out together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Say clearly:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cI do not think you would do anything wrong. But I want you to be able to recognize it if someone tries to use you. Because unfortunately, this does happen.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

It is important to explain what recruitment is: when someone, usually through deception or manipulation, gets a person to do something, often against their values or against the law. And explain that it does not look like a spy movie. It may be a bot, someone they know from a game or chat, or a \u201cfriend\u201d from social media.<\/span><\/p>\n

At what age should these conversations begin? How do you choose the right words and examples?<\/b><\/p>\n

It is worth starting from <\/span>ages 9\u201310<\/b>. This is the age when a child already has digital access, reads or hears the news, even if they do not want to, and begins thinking about justice, power, and truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

The tone and language should depend on the child\u2019s age.<\/span><\/p>\n

For <\/span>younger adolescents (ages 9\u201312)<\/b>, use simple examples. For instance:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cImagine that someone in a game tells you that you are really cool and can give you even more points if you take a photo of your school or a railway station. That is a trap. Even if it seems harmless, it may be part of a dangerous plan.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

For <\/span>teenagers aged 13\u201317<\/b>, you can speak more directly:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cThere are cases where teenagers are used for real wartime tasks. Through Telegram, through games. Often they are lured with flattery: \u2018You are special, we need your help.\u2019 But this is manipulation. And it is a crime for which you are responsible, even if you are still a school student.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Should they be afraid? No. Fear does not teach; it encourages avoidance. What we need is alertness, not panic. Awareness, not anxiety. We do not want a child to be afraid of the internet. We want them to have an inner filter: what feels suspicious, what is not for them, and when adult help is needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

The main message in the conversation should not be <\/span>\u201cyou are weak and someone may trick you,\u201d<\/b> but rather:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cYou are smart, and I trust that you can handle this, but I want you to be informed.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

How can you build enough trust so that a child is not afraid to say that someone offered them a way to \u201cearn money\u201d?<\/b><\/p>\n

Many parents want to hear a magic phrase that will make a child tell them everything. But trust is neither a trick nor a method. It is a process. And it begins not when \u201csomething has already happened,\u201d but much earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let us start with something simple but unpleasant: a child is not afraid only of punishment. They are also afraid of being dismissed, mocked, not heard, or not seen in what they are going through. So trust is not something you either \u201chave\u201d or \u201cdo not have.\u201d It is built every day through your reactions to small situations: when you do not cut them off with <\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t make things up!\u201d<\/b>, when you do not laugh and say <\/span>\u201cSeriously, you fell for that?\u201d<\/b>, when you do not yell, but sit down beside them and listen.<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cHelp me help you\u201d<\/b> is an excellent phrase for building trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want your child to tell you about a \u201cside job\u201d they were offered online, they need to be sure that you will not scold them, that you will not \u201cexplode,\u201d that you will not take away their phone, but instead say:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cThank you for trusting me. Let\u2019s think together about what this really was.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Your reaction to the first mention of money is crucial. If you immediately lash out or punish them, next time the child will turn to YouTube, a chat, or someone else who will not scold them. Teenagers are not looking for permission. They are looking for support.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you remove the fear of punishment if the child has already taken some step toward danger?<\/b><\/p>\n

This is the moment when it is very easy to lose trust and very important to handle the situation correctly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Say honestly:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cIt is important for me to know what happened. And whatever it is, I am with you. I want to protect you, not punish you. We will get through this if we speak openly.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Your task is not to \u201cfix\u201d the child, but to <\/span>maintain the connection<\/b>. Yes, it may be frightening or painful to hear that the child has already done something: sent a photo, agreed to meet, installed a bot. But the center of attention should not be your emotions. It should be the child\u2019s state.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do not lecture them. Ask questions, once the immediate danger has passed:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cWhat were you feeling when you did that?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cWhy did you decide it was worth trying?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cHow do you feel about it now?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

If the child genuinely regrets it or told you on their own, support them. Say:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cI really appreciate your courage in telling me. That was a brave thing to do. Let\u2019s think together about what to do next.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Because in this conversation, the child forms an idea about themselves: <\/span>I made a mistake, but people still trust me. I took a risky step, but I was not punished. I can talk about difficult things, and people will not turn away from me.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

How do you explain the danger of \u201ceasy money\u201d and offers of quick earnings?<\/b><\/p>\n

The recruitment of teenagers does not begin with ideology. It begins with <\/span>\u201ceasy money.\u201d<\/b> The need for recognition, independence, and money often becomes the first bait.<\/span><\/p>\n

The main task is not to criticize, mock, or moralize. A teenager does not want money because they are \u201cgreedy,\u201d but because they want to feel grown-up, to have freedom, and not to have to ask their parents for everything. That is a normal need. Start from there. Say:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cI understand that you want your own money and want to feel independent. That is natural. But when someone offers you money easily, quickly, and without effort, that is always a warning sign. Such offers often hide fraud or danger.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Use real-life examples without moralizing:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cIf someone offers money for a photo of a school, that is not \u2018work\u2019 \u2014 that is exploitation.\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cIf someone says, \u2018This is a secret mission, don\u2019t tell anyone,\u2019 that is a sign of manipulation.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Do pocket money and personal funds reduce the risk of recruitment? How much should children get, and in what form?<\/b><\/p>\n

Yes, having their own money does reduce vulnerability. Not because the child \u201chas everything,\u201d but because they do not have to look for shady ways to cover basic needs such as coffee, a gift, or transport. Pocket money is not a privilege; it is a tool for education.<\/span><\/p>\n

Recommendations:<\/span><\/p>\n

From around <\/span>age 10<\/b>, you can begin with a small weekly amount in cash.<\/span><\/p>\n

From <\/span>ages 12\u201313<\/b>, it is worth moving to cashless payments, such as a child\u2019s bank card with parental access and spending limits. The amount should be predictable and discussed in advance. For example:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cYou get 150 hryvnias each week. You can spend it or save it. If you run out, the next amount comes on schedule.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

This helps form an understanding that money has limits, accounting, and responsibility. And that greatly reduces the chance that a child will agree to a suspicious offer \u201cbecause they did not have enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you teach financial literacy so that a child learns to assess the risks of fraud independently?<\/b><\/p>\n

This should not be taught through lectures, but through practice and dialogue.<\/span><\/p>\n

Create a monthly budget together. Try to answer questions such as:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cHow much do we need for food? How much for entertainment? What can be saved?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Look at suspicious \u201cjob offers\u201d together. Suggest:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cLet\u2019s find five ads promising \u2018easy money\u2019 and see together what signs of fraud they contain.\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>This can turn into an interesting analytical game.<\/span><\/p>\n

Discuss fake offers and fraud schemes. Say:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cThere are many TikTok videos about how to make money \u2018without effort.\u2019 Let\u2019s watch a few and figure out what is true and what is manipulation.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Teach them to ask themselves questions before every financial decision:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cWho is offering this?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cWhat exactly do I have to do?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cWhat am I risking?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cWould I be able to tell my parents about this?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

What warning signs in a child\u2019s online behavior should concern parents?<\/b><\/p>\n

Most dangerous contacts with teenagers begin not outside, but in chats. And unfortunately, parents often find out only after something has already happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

The first step is not to panic, but to observe. Warning signs do not always mean that a child is already being recruited, but they do mean that something is happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

What should you watch for?<\/span><\/p>\n

A change in online behavior. The child spends more time in closed chats, often switches screens, and reacts irritably when someone tries to see who they are messaging.<\/span><\/p>\n

Increased secrecy. New passwords, cleared browsing history, refusal to hand over the phone even for a moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

A change in the themes of their interests. Fascination with war aesthetics, violent games, the \u201cheroism\u201d of self-sacrifice, conspiracy, secrecy, or \u201cfighting the system.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

New acquaintances with strange names or accounts without photos or personal information.<\/span><\/p>\n

Money. The child suddenly has money and cannot explain where it came from, or on the contrary asks for money \u201cfor something urgent.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotional changes. Anxiety, withdrawal, overexcitement, or irritability without a clear explanation.<\/span><\/p>\n

These are not a \u201cdiagnosis,\u201d but an invitation to start a conversation. If you feel that something is \u201coff,\u201d trust your intuition.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you discuss a child\u2019s online communication without violating personal boundaries?<\/b><\/p>\n

The important thing here is not to \u201cstorm into their inner world.\u201d If a child feels watched or invaded, they will simply disappear into the digital shadows: a new account, anonymous platforms, VPNs, closed chats. Modern teenagers are technically literate.<\/span><\/p>\n

What works?<\/span><\/p>\n

Explain your motivation. Not <\/span>\u201cI am controlling you,\u201d<\/b> but <\/span>\u201cI am worried and want to understand what surrounds you.\u201d<\/b> For example:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cI do not want to dig through your phone. But I want to be sure that you are safe. If you ever receive a strange message, you can show it to me, and I will not scold you. We will just look at it together.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Create a \u201cwindow of trust.\u201d Once a week, sit down together and look at TikTok trends or popular chats. This is not an inspection. It is a shared immersion in the digital world.<\/span><\/p>\n

Discuss not the child\u2019s private messages, but general situations.<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cI heard there was a dangerous chat situation in School N. How do you think children end up in those chats?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>\u201cA lot of fake bots are now offering money for simple tasks. Why do you think teenagers fall for that?\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>These conversations activate critical thinking and remove the barrier of <\/span>\u201cI am being checked.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Agree on a safety signal. Suggest a simple phrase the child can say or text if they find themselves under pressure or in a questionable contact situation:<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cMom\/Dad, I need to talk, and I need you not to get angry.\u201d<\/b>
\n<\/b>This should become a promise of no punishment.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our goal is not to take away the child\u2019s phone or control, but to give them an inner filter and a safe connection with us. No antivirus can replace an adult who is present, listens, and does not dismiss the child\u2019s feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you teach a child to recognize recruiters\u2019 manipulations?<\/b><\/p>\n

This is the key question for prevention. No ban and no technical filter protects as well as awareness. And that is exactly what we need to develop \u2014 not by instilling fear, but by building the ability to recognize manipulation.<\/span><\/p>\n

First of all, talk about it as an ordinary life situation, not as something extraordinary or far removed from reality. Recruitment is not a movie scene. It is a psychological game. And it can be learned and recognized.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are several common tactics that should be discussed with teenagers through examples, scenarios, and dialogues.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cYou are special. We need your help specifically.\u201d<\/b>
    \n<\/b>Tactic: flattery and inclusion in a \u201csecret circle.\u201d The recruiter creates a sense of uniqueness: <\/span>\u201cWe chose you because we see potential in you.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    What to explain to a child:<\/span>
    \n<\/span>\u201cReal worth never requires secrecy. If someone tells you that you are chosen, but everything has to stay hidden, that is manipulation.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \u201cIt is really nothing serious. Just take a photo \/ move a box \/ create an account.\u201d<\/b>
      \n<\/b>Tactic: minimizing the risk, making it seem normal. The task looks safe, everyday, even childish.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      What to explain:<\/span>
      \n<\/span>\u201cRecruitment rarely begins with something frightening. At first the task seems simple, but then it becomes more dangerous.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \u201cDo not tell anyone. This is very important.\u201d<\/b>
        \n<\/b>Tactic: isolation and control. The manipulator creates an atmosphere of trust, but immediately forbids the child from talking to parents or teachers.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        What to explain:<\/span>
        \n<\/span>\u201cAnything that requires secrecy from your loved ones is a reason to be cautious. Trust never fears the light.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \u201cYou are not a snitch, are you?\u201d<\/b>
          \n<\/b>Tactic: pressure on loyalty. If the child hesitates, they are pushed through shame or a \u201ctest of loyalty.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          What to explain:<\/span>
          \n<\/span>\u201cReal friends and honest adults do not pressure you into silence. Sometimes the bravest thing is to ask for help.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \u201cYou can make good money from this.\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>Tactic: financial bait. The teenager is offered money without effort, for something \u201csmall.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            What to explain:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cIn real life, people rarely pay a lot for something worthless. If something seems suspiciously easy, there is always a trap.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            How can you communicate all this without turning it into a lecture?<\/span><\/p>\n

            Interactively. Try suggesting a game:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cImagine that someone you do not know sends you a message. I will show you examples, and you tell me whether it is okay or suspicious.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            Through examples. Discuss real news stories, cases, even films.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Teach them to recognize phrases such as:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u2014 <\/span>\u201cOnly you can help us\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>\u2014 <\/span>\u201cIt is safe, we have thought it all through\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>\u2014 <\/span>\u201cYou get the money immediately\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>\u2014 <\/span>\u201cThe main thing is, do not tell anyone\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>This last phrase should become an internal red flag.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Emphasize:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cYou can always come and say: \u2018Someone offered me something strange. I will tell you, but no yelling.\u2019\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            Teenagers want to be useful, brave, and independent. And that is exactly what manipulators often exploit. But these same qualities can become protection if we help teenagers learn to see the reality behind the words.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Psychological support: where to turn if a child is panicking<\/b><\/p>\n

            National Children and Youth Hotline:<\/b>
            \n<\/b>116 111<\/b> (from mobile phones) \/ <\/span>0 800 500 225<\/b><\/p>\n

            If you are a teacher, how should you discuss this topic in class without increasing anxiety? How can it be integrated into education and pastoral work?<\/b><\/h3>\n

            This is an absolutely strategic question. School is not only a place of learning, but also a social space where a worldview is formed. And often it is the teacher who first notices that \u201csomething is going wrong.\u201d But how can teachers speak with students about the danger of recruitment in a way that does not traumatize or frighten them, but instead strengthens awareness and responsibility?<\/span><\/p>\n

            Shift the tone from <\/span>\u201cthreat\u201d<\/b> to <\/span>\u201cskill.\u201d<\/b> Not \u201cchildren are in danger,\u201d but \u201cchildren are able to recognize risks if we help them.\u201d This is a position of strength, not fear. And it is contagious.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Use facts, not scare tactics. Instead of saying, <\/span>\u201cYou may be recruited,\u201d<\/b> it is better to say:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cInformation warfare is also being waged against young people. There are known cases where teenagers were drawn into dangerous tasks through an ordinary game chat. Today we will analyze how this works and what you can do to protect yourself.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            Offer situation analysis. Not a lecture, but case studies:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cImagine that someone messages you and offers you money to take a photo of a train station. What do you do?\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>This activates decision-making, not anxiety.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Use discussion instead of \u201cdelivering the truth.\u201d Helpful questions include:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cWhy do teenagers agree to risky offers?\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>\u201cHow would you understand that this is manipulation?\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>\u201cWhat should you do if one of your friends gets involved in something suspicious?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

            Do not create the image of a \u201cbad child\u201d who did something wrong. On the contrary, emphasize that telling an adult is a sign of strength, not weakness.<\/span><\/p>\n

            How can this topic be integrated into the educational process?<\/b><\/p>\n

            This should not be a separate \u201cscary\u201d lesson. It should become part of a broader culture of safety, critical thinking, and digital hygiene.<\/span><\/p>\n

            During homeroom or advisory periods, discuss digital safety, manipulation, and fraud \u2014 not only from the side of \u201cthe enemy,\u201d but also in everyday life.<\/span><\/p>\n

            In subjects such as <\/span>Civic Education<\/b> or <\/span>Personal Development<\/b>, explore concepts such as critical thinking, information security, civic responsibility, and recognizing influence.<\/span><\/p>\n

            In computer science classes, talk about phishing, bot attacks, safe use of messengers, and privacy and security settings.<\/span><\/p>\n

            In language, literature, history, and art lessons, discuss how information shapes society, how narratives are formed, and where the line lies between truth and influence.<\/span><\/p>\n

            The teacher should be a role model \u2014 a figure of trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

            When students know:<\/span>
            \n<\/span>\u201cMy teacher will not mock me, scare me, or ignore me,\u201d<\/b>
            \n<\/b>then a child comes not to a Telegram bot, but to a real person. Schools can create:<\/span><\/p>\n